Thursday, September 9, 2010

Henry's First Day of Pre-School

Today was rough.  Rough to say the least.  Today was Henry's first day of pre-school and to say that it was harder and me than him would be a lie, it was hard for him. 

Yesterday Henry and I went to school to visit Ms. J to show Henry him his classroom once more and for me to get the ever loving "paperwork" {I read a lot and signed my name just a much}.  I thought it would be good for Henry & I to go alone as the other visits with Ms. J and his room were with the entire family.  I also wanted to have a date with Henry afterwards where we could talk about school and being there without Karley*.  

* In the last month we've had the desire to take one of the big kids on a outing with one of us.  Henry will not go without Karley.  Incidentally Karley has gotten to go on her own with Daddy to an auction. Henry was a mess when he then stayed home with Sophie and I.  We thought this would be a good teaching moment where the next time he'd take the opportunity to go on his own.  When this opportunity presented itself {trip with Daddy to Menards} he again refused.  Thinking ahead to today, I decided yesterday's orientation would be one step closer to being on his own.

Yesterday when I told him that he was going to go with Mom to his school he immediately asked if Kardee was going to come too.  Being honest and up front I told him no and for the next hour he cried and told me his wishes of his Kardee coming with.  When I dropped the girls off at Susan's he cried in the car, Sophie cried in the house and Karley just made her way to the toys.  {You're so brave Karley!}  Henry was fine the minute we got on the road to school.  He was great with Ms. J and made a craft project while we talked.  After we left I asked what he wanted to do and be still my heart, he said he wanted to go to the church across the street from school.  My sweet boy.  We went inside, looked at how beautiful it was, lit a candle, said a prayer for a good school year.  Then we went for "hot coffee" and "hot chocola chocola" {warm chocolate}.  We again talked about how fun school would be and he told two older gentleman that he was going to school tomorrow.  {Maybe this won't be so bad?}

Our plan was that Adam was going to come with to drop Henry off at school.  In thinking I asked Adam if he thought it was a good idea that we would all be leaving him, would it be a bigger production?  I said I didn't want to take anything away from Adam but wondered what he thought.  He decided he would just go to work because it would indeed be a bigger production and that might not be helpful for Henry.  Bummer but it was bad enough.

I brought Henry his clothes and he obviously knew that I was bringing him something nicer he asked if we were going to church.  I told him no, it was school today.  The next 45 minutes before we had to leave he spent crying that he didn't want to go alone.  Most of which was in a corner.  {He's never done this.  Not a good sign but still I thought it wouldn't be as bad as it was....and actually it just progressed.} 




After Karley got her "Pack Pack" all loaded up I brought the girls to the car. 



I then came back to carry Henry, all the while he cried, to the car.  My heart breaking the whole time.   He cried most of the 15 minute drive to school.  I tried to reassure him that he would be fine, that Ms. J would be there, that even when I am not with him or Karley that Jesus would always be with him, that he could talk to Him anytime, he could tell Him that he is scared.  I hope those words stick with him.  I carried him into the school crying, saying, "don't leave me".  {I am sorry to the mother who was video taping her daughter that my sons words will forever be on your tape.} 



I brought him to his cubbie/locker, talked with him about the books we ordered, his paperwork for Ms. J, he was hysterical.  We walked into the classroom, tried to talk about the apple that had his name on it that he was to put a sticker on, and the next thing you know, he was crawling on all fours, crying, out the classroom door.  I picked him up.  Talked with him.  Set him down and back on all fours he went towards the door.  Teachers, students, parents all watching my adorable sweet boy crying on all fours towards the door.  Ms. J picked him up.  I passed her and left hearing her ask him what was wrong, he did so well yesterday.  {Ms. J previously asked if there was a problem with separation for the parent to leave and not drag on a "coming back for one more comfort or reasoning", so I did.}  YIKES.  That was hard.

I made it to the car, called Adam and lost it.

I also wanted to mention that I read this blog post from my dear blog friend Angie last night.  It was a reminder to me to make sure I get certain pictures for his book.  The three pictures I do have are sad.  There wasn't any such picture by his school sign, by his locker, or at his desk. 

On the way to pick him up I asked my sister...."What if he doesn't make it in a months time?  What if they tell me he just isn't ready?"  She said, "Well, then he just isn't ready".  So I had it in my mind that it would be okay if he isn't ready, it will be okay.

Then as I pull up to school....I see this.


As all the parents waited for the kids to come to the door all the other parents told me that Henry was fine as soon as I left.  One man thought Henry was very creative on how he was going to escape.  They were all very re-assuring that he was just fine and was all calmed down within a few minutes.  Praise God!  After hearing that, I as I was watching him wait for his name to be called to be excused from school I started to get tears.  I had been holding it all in (since talking to Adam) but once I knew my baby was okay, had a good time I think the emotions of school finally came.  I cried then at the fact that he is a big boy.  Where is the time going?  He had a fun time, I am so glad. 

I did end up getting a few pictures that I hoped for.  Now this afternoon he's been re-creating school.  I can hear the differences in his play.  What a big boy!  He was so excited to show me his paperwork folder he put stickers on and the paper that indicated he had a great day.  We made it!


Blessings to you!

Tina

I wasn't sure about posting the pictures of him crying as he was so devastated but since the day turned out okay I went ahead.

10 comments:

  1. i am so so so so so happy for both of you that it turned out okay...

    i DON'T EVEN HAVE kids and this even broke my heart a little.. hope you don't mind.. i sent a little prayer up for it to stay good!!!

    year before last.. my niece had a TERRIBLE time... and my sister (who is a teacher) thought it best to make her stick it out (we all disagreed- but we are not her parents)... they tried and tried and tried for about 2 and half months and it NEVER got better... so i am thankful when you picked him up it was calmer...

    sorry for this comment.. i just happen to think not only is he brave but you are too!!

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  2. Oh Tina, I cried right along with you as I read your stories of dealing with your sad baby boy, having to carry him back into the classroom while he begged not to go. Then I rejoiced right along with you as I looked at that picture of his BIG smile coming in from the playground. That had to have been such a relief to see his smile, after leaving him crying and wondering if he'd be ok. I am so sorry that it was such an emotional day, but so thankful that it turned out well and Henry decided it was not so bad. You are so strong to leave him and let him decide to be a big boy, and he IS such a big, precious boy who loves his mommy. Just remember that...he loves you so much and has so much fun with you and his sisters at home, which makes it hard to leave. But it's all part of growing up. We all have to do it. Our children have to grow up, and us moms have to let them. And no matter how hard it is, we have Jesus to lean on. And as you said, He is there for them even when we physically can't be.

    Praying for you my friend, that next time is easier.

    Oh, and I LOVE that last photo of Henry by the preschool sign. Great job!!! :) Glad my photo-taking obsession could help you a bit! :)

    Love,
    Angie

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  3. Hi Randi,

    No need to be sorry for the comment...I love it!

    Thanks for the prayers! :) I pray for a good rest of the year as well! :)

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  4. Thanks Angie!

    It's been so fun to hear him play school all day long. So I know he loved it. He's been getting us all snacks b/c he's the teacher. He'll be even more excited about school when he gets to be the helper!

    I hope Tuesday goes better and he remembers how much fun it was today. It's so long until Tuesday now!

    Thank you for being such a great blog friend.

    My hubby & I have also been inspired by your summer travels. Next summer for us!

    Love,
    Tina

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  5. School is a hard transition for some kids, but your sister is right, if he's not ready, than just keep him home. You are blessed to be at home anyway :) I do think he's gonna make it, he just needs to process it all. What beautiful pictures (even the sad ones). You're such a great mom, no wonder he wants to stay with you!!

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  6. I am SO glad things turned out okay!! He is going to just love school and all his new friends, it's going to be so good for him! I'm praying that the next time will be easier and the time after that even easier. It's not easy to watch your kids grow up but it sure is fun! Love that last picture. :)
    {{hugs}}

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  7. Awwww little henrey. Im NOT looking forward to my girls first days of school :(

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  8. Oh what a tough day for you and Henry! I am so glad to see that when you went to pick him up he was smiling. Keeping you in prayer!

    Blessings!
    Deborah

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  9. Oh man that was hard. Prayers for you both.

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Thanks for making my day!